Blue Christmas.

 006-2It’s Christmas Eve. If it weren’t posted everywhere for me to see, I’d have a hard time believing it. Normally this day holds so much excitement and joy for me, but this year it lacks that. This year is different. This is my first Christmas without my dad. On Christmas Eve we would always be rushing about. You could feel excitement thick in the air. We were always out shopping for last-minute somethings. I get it honest, we are a bunch of procrastinators. Christmas was always my dad’s favorite time of year, next to his birthday. I’ll never forget how excited he got about either of those events. I get my childlike spirit from him, my birthday is my favorite too. I watched a video of my first Christmas the other day, it was emotional to say the least. I sat there and watched love and adoration pour out of my dad as he watched me open up my gifts. He was so happy just to be there to experience this milestone in my life. The video played some more and showed him opening up something, a jacket, I think. He was so genuinely pleased and thankful for that gift. He was always like that. I remember most years I’d have very little to spend on my parents and would buy him a dollar store tool. You would have thought I had given him the most precious jewel, to him it was precious. I remember him watching as I would open my gift on Christmas mornings. He would be so focused on watching me and he never failed to be so enthusiastic about it. His go to saying was “oh boy, looky there”. Amother thing I remember is how he loved Christmas lights. I’ll never forget how he would always comment on our Christmas tree all lit up, “man, that is just so beautiful”. I think I miss his spirit most. I compare it to the beauty of Christmas lights, always twinkling, always bringing joy to someone else. Going through life you never realize what’s in front of you and I am no exception to that, I missed having the most amazing human being in my life for 21 years. There is so much to learn from him. He always knew what was most important, God and his family. He was thankful for what he had and didn’t sweat the rest. He knew that God had him. He knew the true meaning of Christmas. He knew that Jesus is the reason for the season and not gifts. I hope I don’t ever stop learning from him. My dad was the most amazing human I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. I hope that by reading this you remember what’s most important about this season. I hope you, not only show, but tell the people you hold most dear what they really mean to you, not just this time of year, but all the time. You never know what day might be your last.

Dad, I hope your first Christmas in heaven is better than anyone you ever had here on earth. I miss you. I love you. Merry Christmas, Dad.

My wish for you is a Christmas full of Christ’s love. For Jesus is the real reason for the season. Go tell someone you love, what they mean to you.
Merry Christmas from me to you.

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littlebitsofme22

Hi, I'm Sam. 25. Southern sweetheart with a passionate soul, caring heart, and a want to change the world. Jesus, coffee, the written word, animals, and finding beauty in everything are some of my favorite things. On a journey to be whoever He says I am. I write about life, pop culture, body positivity, my journey of grief, living and dealing with Uterine Cancer, and God. I think a lot, so come along as I share my thoughts and little bits of this and that.

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