Talk.

I get this hollow in my chest when I think about you, then it hits me that you’re not here anymore. I miss you so much that it reverberates throughout my whole body and leaves me breathless. Life is crazy and changing and I wish I could talk to you. I wish I could ask you what I should do and how I should handle all these changes. I miss your presence. The whole earth lost the best man I have ever had the pleasure of meeting when we lost you. I feel like I’m moving forward and yet I’m still stuck at the same time. Life is exciting for the first time in my life and you’re not here for me to share it with. I wonder if you could see the talent everyone says I have? You always encouraged me to do whatever I wanted to do and never settle for second best. I can’t believe I took our time for granted. I want to talk with you about guys and why they’re all stupid and can’t man up. I want to talk to you about my future and where I’m heading. I wanna talk to you about how I have this thirst for life that I’ve never had before. I want to be who God wants me to be and I have this unearthly feeling that He is calling me for something big and that, in itself scares me to death but gives me this insane high at the same time. I want to talk to you about my writing and have you read my words and hear your encouragement. I’m having this insane case of writers block right now and I wanna talk to you about it. You might not have got it but you understood this fierce love of your passion and the aggravation that came along with it. I would tell you that I don’t think I’m a very good writer and certainly not as talented as some others but you would have told me that I was just as good as someone else, that my talents were no less valuable because they were different that the world is big enough for all of us. You would say that God has something in store for me that would fit just me and to wait patiently for it. My god, I miss you so much. I don’t know how to do life without you.

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