Awakening Love

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about being single. I’m 23 and never had a boyfriend, in today’s society I’m as rare as a unicorn. At times when I think about this I feel like something is wrong with me. Friends assure me that I’m not repulsive and little old ladies tell me I’m beautiful all the time, but there is something to be said about a guy telling you that you’re pretty or pleasing to the eye. Guys see things differently than us ladies and I guess ultimately I’m seeking approval. However, I digress.

Back on topic.

I’ve been having the same conversation over and over lately about standards I have set for “that guy.” While it’s not a super complicated list, it hits the major qualities that I desire in that guy. I really have had the best possible example of what a man should be in my dad. He was the epitome of a what a man should be. He set the bare extremely high for that future man and I’m grateful for that. (Read this to see what I’m talking about.) But in a moment of weakness and if I’m being honest, loneliness I let those standards and examples go out the window and I forgot how worthy of respect I am.

I recently had a less than pleasant encounter with a dude on a dating website. While I was reading his messages to me It really hit me that he saw me as an object and not a person with thoughts and feelings and a heart. In the moment it seemed like complements but all I was really doing was devaluing myself. Proverbs 3:15 says

She is more precious than rubies: nothing you desire can compare to her.

I let all my self respect go for some praise from a boy. Of course this immediately brought on a flood of tears and text to my best friend asking her if something was wrong with me.

Am I the only person not content in my singleness?

I think its natural to want that one person to connect with on the purest level.

But my point in this is, am I harming myself by searching for this guy?

While reading Song of Songs after all this happened I read a verse that I know by heart but it never spoke to me the way it did then. Verse 3:5 reads,

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

It hit me that I’m trying to force something that isn’t meant to happen right now and by doing this I ultimately will not end up with the right man at this time in my life.

While that is a hard pill to swallow, I know that it’s in God’s plan for my life. But I can’t help but ask myself, why do I have these strong feelings right now?

God works in funny ways. Who knows? Maybe He’s trying to teach me something with this.

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Called to love

loveoneanother I’ve been thinking a lot about Caitlyn Jenner and her story. There is a lot of hate and judgment being passed around at the subject. I have my opinions, as I’m sure you have yours; but I’m not here to talk about that. I read a quote one time that said something to the effect of, I will stop questioning whether they are worth loving and simply love them. That’s paraphrased of course, but it’s meaning stands in this case. We forget that these celebrities and others that we may feel justified to judge, are people too. We forget that the sameĀ God that created the heavens and the earth, you and I, the stars and the sun created this human being also. That this is a mortal, living in a world of sin and judgement just as you and I are. Whether you agree with her actions or whether you don’t, God doesn’t call us to judge one another. He calls us to love one another. John 8:7 says,

When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

This well known verse is speaking to the world right now. We throw stones, drag this person personal story through the media all for the sake of money and gossip. All we are doing is stopping to question whether she should be loved or not. The answer to that is a simple yes. Yes, she is worthy of love. Jesus died for her sin just as He did for me. We, humans, were never asked our opinion on whether what she’s doing is right or wrong. That isn’t up to us. We are simply called to love. I urge to think about that the next time you throw stones at someone.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. -John 15:12