Life and little bit of this and that.

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I wish I had some big, verbose thing to tell you but I don’t. I’ve just been thinking recently about cancer, life, boys, and God and how I have changed. It is entirely by Gods grace that I’m not the same person I was not too long ago. I fought hard to become this person I’m becoming, but cancer, it sucks. It kinda puts a stopper in any kind of progress. As my dad would’ve said ” it has a way of knocking you on your back so you’ll look up.” So  I have. I’ve found God in all the corners of my life lately, it’s a scary time at its core. I put on a brave face, but cancer is a cold-blooded killer and I’m not ready to die. I feel amongst all the yucky-ness of this that there is a silver lining waiting to be discovered. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and in the words of one of my favorite authors, Anne Lamott,

“Sometimes when a lot of things around you start going wrong all at once, it is to protect something big and lovely that is trying to get itself born. In other words, perhaps it needed you to be distracted so it can be born perfect.”

I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know who holds the future and He makes broken things beautiful. My life has been so broken the past four years and I saw how He worked in dads life and I saw how He works in the messiest times of grief. I choose to believe that He’ll show up and work in all the brokenness of this season. Speaking of brokenness, I recently had several encounters with dating in this modern generation, and they all sucked. Guys these days are quick to want to hook-up, play little mind game, and be terrified to catch feelings. Well, my heart has been cracked and I’ve omitted pieces of myself to fit what their looking for and I’m done. Life is far too short and too precious to waste on that. In the words of my homegirl Bey,

“middle fingers up and tell em’ boi bye.”

I’m worth being pursued and worth some effort. I’m too old and mature to play stupid little games. If you like me, tell me. I’m worth a man that can stand his ground and sees me for more than an object. Yes, I like the skin I’m in, but you should see my brain. It’s far more sexier. My life is spent taking it minute by minute. I’m going on with everyday life, including college because I have no intentions of dying this soon. So they’ll be plenty of time to check off my bucket list. Plus let’s be real, who has money to do that when they have cancer? Do they know how much it cost!? If anything, cancer has certainly made me more introspective. And let’s you know where your priorities lay…

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littlebitsofme22

Hi, I'm Sam. 25. Southern sweetheart with a passionate soul, caring heart, and a want to change the world. Jesus, coffee, the written word, animals, and finding beauty in everything are some of my favorite things. On a journey to be whoever He says I am. I write about life, pop culture, body positivity, my journey of grief, living and dealing with Uterine Cancer, and God. I think a lot, so come along as I share my thoughts and little bits of this and that.

2 thoughts on “Life and little bit of this and that.”

  1. Sam you are an amazing young lady, wise beyond your years! God has great things in store for you. I can’t imagine your struggles right now, but always know I am on your side in this fight. God will see you through this and much more. My thoughts and prayers are with you always. I love you!!!! Aunt Jill

  2. I found you through Whitney Way Thore. I dropped by to show you some love and support. I am a four year uterine/endometrial cancer survivor. I have been where you are. My diagnosis was Stage III 2c…one more centemeter and I would have been Stage 4. Please check out my blog and reach out to me if you’d like. Http:\\thehappyhysterectomy.wordpress.com

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