Seems like yesterday.

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Oh darling girl, how can it be 7 years since you came into my life? It is truly hard to believe. I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. I stayed the night at Aunt Allie’s because I could simply not wait until the evening to see you. I didn’t sleep at all the night before your birth because I was too excited. I remember getting to the hospital to see your mom and dad before they took your mom into have the cesarean, your dad had on the funniest outfit, you would have laughed at him! I remember waiting on you to be brought back to the room and as soon as we saw the nurses wheel you in to the room we all jumped up and ran in there. I remember looking at you and knew that I would love you forever. You were crying and all balled up, not very happy with your new environment. I spent every opportunity I could with you your first 2 years, watching you grow and become very independent, very fast. You have been a joy to watch ever since! I continue to watch you grow into a beautiful, free spirit. You are beyond your years and are so very smart. Continue to grow in your faith, little one. You’re off to a great start. Never lose your excitement for life.

I love you more than I could ever tell you, Kelsey Grace.

Happy 7th Birthday!

Happy Birthday.

Image I’ve been in a melancholy state since your death but sometime it’s stronger than others. This past couple of days has been those stronger times. I went to get that old, iron bed out from the shed because I’ve been wanting to use it and I found myself asking about the measurements of it and I said to myself “oh, i’ll ask dad.” and I felt everything stand still and crash with the realization that you’re not here for me to ask. I started to get it out and had to move stuff around for me to get it because of all your “treasures” that were in front of it and I found myself remembering the time you brought it home, I saw it in the old house on the property and you asked around about it, this was all before the strife and I remember you bringing it home and you said “here it is.” I didn’t appreciate it then. You’re missing a huge new adventure in my life and I find myself wanting to come home and tell you about everything and cry and tell you how afraid I feel and all my worries so I can here your words of advice and I come home or start to call home and then realize your not there, so I tuck it away and try to force the tears away because I’ve cried more this past year than I probably have in my life. Today is your birthday. You loved your birthday. There isn’t a time when I think back that you weren’t giddy about this day. You always asked for the same birthday dinner of meatloaf and homemade mac and cheese. I’d always get you some cheesy card and you’d read it and thank me for and give me one of your big hugs until I became too cool to be hugged and now I miss those hugs more than I thought ever possible. I miss you dad, more than I ever knew I could.

Happy Birthday,dad.