We live in a world where society and media portray one body type and one extravagant love story as the gospel. We play with Barbies that are tall, thin, and perfectly proportioned. We watch Disney movies where a pretty princess gets rescued by the handsome, chiseled prince, so naturally most of our impressionable minds carry this mindset throughout our whole lives, I certainly have. Growing up I was always the bigger girl. Genetically and biologically, it was predestined. I had family that I spent those formative years with that was obsessed with their bodies and the newest diet fad, at school I was bullied for being the tall fat kid. However, with my parents I was told I was beautiful and perfect and I could do anything I set my mind to. Unfortunately, the former situations won out. The year before my dad died I spent so much time trying to lose weight, trying various diets and pills that I spent my nights crying myself to sleep because I wasn’t getting skinny and y’all, I finally had a come to Jesus meeting where I got so damn sick and tired being at war with myself and my body. I found the Body Positive community on Tumblr and my life changed. Three years later, I’d say 70% of my days I look in the mirror and love what I see. I am so much more than the weight. I like the person I’m becoming because I fought to become her, but sometimes I get caught up with appearances and outside views. I’m human and I still live in a world where these things are praised and worshiped daily. The last year or so I’ve been obsessed with finding Mr. Right and what I want him to look like or traits I want him to have. I even went as far to join a dating sites, since no one I knew in everyday life was interested. One of these sites bases matches off your first impression of the other person looks and I find myself judging a guy over his hair color, of his jaw line, if he looks good with a beard, if he’s average size. My point isn’t that these sites are bad but that they buy into what society is selling. You can’t tell if he loves God more than himself, loves his momma, or respects his daddy, or is kind to people, or if he gets along with his siblings, or if his eyes light up when he sees a dog, or if he gets invested into the books he reads, or enjoys taking in the beauty of a sunset, or how he treats a waiter or store clerk, or how he will treat you, if he’s kind, sincere, passionate, imaginative and the myriad of other important traits. I’m not down playing the importance of physical attraction but merely saying that those traits and the ones you value are truly what make a person attractive. I recently saw two videos that led to this post, one being on the body image front from my friend Whitney Thore, who has changed my life immensely in the year that I’ve known her. In this video, Whit talks about loving yourself and that projecting and attracting the right guy and this music video by Marie Miller, which is the song of my heart and the whole meaning behind this post. I have these things I’m physically attracted to but yet say “God, you can send me the complete opposite of that ” or “Lord, I’m going to be patient, but could you send him before I turn 25?” I guess ultimately I’m not trusting Him to send me my gentle giant. I think it’s time to stop waiting for Mr. right and to say “I really don’t care what he looks like.”
I’ll leave you with this secret I’ve learned on my journey, I have never met an unattractive person who was kind.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Caitlyn Jenner and her story. There is a lot of hate and judgment being passed around at the subject. I have my opinions, as I’m sure you have yours; but I’m not here to talk about that. I read a quote one time that said something to the effect of, I will stop questioning whether they are worth loving and simply love them. That’s paraphrased of course, but it’s meaning stands in this case. We forget that these celebrities and others that we may feel justified to judge, are people too. We forget that the same God that created the heavens and the earth, you and I, the stars and the sun created this human being also. That this is a mortal, living in a world of sin and judgement just as you and I are. Whether you agree with her actions or whether you don’t, God doesn’t call us to judge one another. He calls us to love one another. John 8:7 says,
When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”
This well known verse is speaking to the world right now. We throw stones, drag this person personal story through the media all for the sake of money and gossip. All we are doing is stopping to question whether she should be loved or not. The answer to that is a simple yes. Yes, she is worthy of love. Jesus died for her sin just as He did for me. We, humans, were never asked our opinion on whether what she’s doing is right or wrong. That isn’t up to us. We are simply called to love. I urge to think about that the next time you throw stones at someone.
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. -John 15:12
I think Christmas lights are one of the most magical sights there is. It seems like this time of year is all about decorating your house or trees with those little fascinating lights. Y’all, let’s have real talk right now; we don’t even have a tree up this year. We’re not being all bah-humbuggy, we’ve just been packing and trying to move before the first of the year. I miss it more than I ever thought I would, I would always complain about the tree being scratchy(yes, we use a fake tree because this girl is allergic to the real thing) and so time consuming, but y’all, it was so worth that effort and now I see that. Isn’t that life though, never knowing what you have until you don’t have it anymore? I don’t think Mary was like that though. I think she knew just how amazing and life changing Jesus was going to be. That’s what this season is about. Not the buying of gifts, or trimming of trees, or singing carols. It’s about that little baby born in a stable. I think we get so caught up in the materialistic traditions that we don’t truly realize the significance of this. I’m not saying that I’m immune to this, but there is something to be said for having to focus and rely 100% on God during this season that just brings this to light. It’s a overwhelming feeling to have this revelation of sorts; God sent His ONLY son to save us all. Think about that, let it soak in… I’m not a mother of human children, yet. But speaking from Mary’s POV, how excruciatingly painful would it be to bare a child whom you know is something so precious and special and then to know that He was sent to rescue us weary sinners, yourself included, with His life?! I guess my whole point in this is how busy we get with the lights and tinsel and we overlook the whole reason we celebrate this holiday. I think when you really stop and ponder that, it puts everything into perspective a little bit. I am so thankful God sent His son. I’m so thankful for His mercy and grace that is new every morning and the joy that only comes from knowing Him. With that, I hope you have the Merriest of Christmases and remember that Jesus is the reason why we celebrate.