Some advice from the sick person.

I’ve noticed that a Cancer diagnosis or really an chronic illness is a death sentence to many relationships and friendships. You can almost be assured that people who you thought would be there, aren’t and people you never expected, will. I’m feeling some type of way about this right now. I’ve never been miss popularity, my personality is between you either like me or you don’t. I’m always kinder than necessary but don’t mistake that for weakness, I can be venomous when called for. However, I surround myself with the best people I know. Real recognizes real, I’m a firm believer in that. My point with this is to give you some advice from the sick persons perspective. When my dad died I thought my world stopped, but then when I was told “it is cancer” I stopped breathing, the world stopped moving and the realization that I could die hit me harder than a train collision. If I thought losing my dad made me take stock, well I don’t even know what this is. Every day I’m alive is a blessing, every moment I get to spend with those I love are moments to live for. If you know me, you know I’m an introvert. I don’t have a ton to say but you can be assured I’m always thinking but what this means for me is that I’d rather send you a text than talk to you in person. This diagnosis has made me realize how much time I don’t spend with people I love and care for…

So this is my advice to you, as well as myself; don’t worry about saying the right thing, just. Be. There. Make your love and presence known. We know you’re sorry and hate this for us. We hate it too, trust me. But don’t let that keep you from us. Spend time together even when you think you don’t have time, you do. Make time for those you truly care about. You aren’t promised tomorrow. Call, text, email, send a carrier pigeon. But be present in this life. Spend every moment you can with those you love. Some more truth from the sick persons perspective; we get lonely. We already have something that sets us apart, we generally can’t do some of the things healthy folks can or maybe we’re in pain and just can’t get out of the house. Either way, we feel left out and so far removed from those who are closest to us. Don’t let that keep you from making plans with us. Trust me when I say we know our limits and we’ll let you know them. My point is, you’re scared for us but we’re scared too. Don’t let that keep you from us. We aren’t promised tomorrow.