A diagnosis.

My days seem to cloud together lately. If I’m not at a doctors appointment, then I’m at home thinking about a million different things at once. I don’t have a lot to say right now. My emotions are on hyper-drive, I go from laughing to crying. Some days I’m so bored and want to get out of the house, others I don’t even want to shower. Most of you want to know what’s going on, I saw the oncologist on Monday and my cancer is stage 1. However, we don’t know how far it’s moved into the myometrium. If it’s farther in than 50%, surgery is the only option according to Dr. Kelly. To be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about him yet. He listened to everything I had to say but I feel like he’s not giving the weight loss and hormone therapy a 100% and those of you that know me well, know that I go full force until I know I’ve exhausted that option. I know it’s risky and it’s not foolproof, but I’m young, I want more than anything to be a mom. He started me on a high dose of progestin and then will reevaluate at the appointment in a week. I’m worried about mom, how’s she’s dealing with everything and work at the same time. Money has always been sparse, but if she doesn’t work she doesn’t get paid and most doctors appointments are an all day affair. I’m not working right now, so I haven’t been able to contribute. I’m considering online classes for the fall, as I had planned on going back to finish up my associates. I’m struggling with all this and my faith. Everything is in a precarious place right now, it’s a hard pill to swallow.